Transparency in the storm

 Transparency in the storm

 

Projection, Transference, Dreaming up

 

During the long experience of Midwife, we must experience so diverse strange resonance patterns among you and co-researchers or participants one after another. It is non-dual and multi-dimensional chaos, all Qualia that received in your and others Qualia resonate together at the same time beyond borders between self and others, time and space and attack you unexpected timing. They are dangerous phenomena if you don’t know that they are a natural resonance of Qualia. You must be bound by a strong emotional attack.

 

What happened in the <Abyss>

We call this bottomless depth as <Abyss>. 
It is the most creative condition for Butoh but at the same time the most dangerous condition. Both are Oneness.
The Heaven and the Hell come together.
We feel as if the world attacks me, invades me, denies me.
Sometimes this unknown evil world image is projected on a person or people around you.

We need to see all phenomena transparently.
It is felt like <Evil Spirit>, <Devil>, <Monster>. They are terrible archetypes.
All of us share all archetypes in the Abyss of the darkness of the body.
It is happening with the following phenomena is mixed and unified as oneness at the same moment.

<Nowhere> 
We don't know where I am. There is no direction, no orientation in the non-dual realm.

<Beyond time> 
All inner Qualia resonate together beyond time.
Child experiences, baby memories, fetus dreams, embryo inner qualia, cell's Life memories come up together.

<Dreaming up> 
When we enter the deep subbody-cobody mode, it is similar to the dreaming process. We often involve other people in our own imaginary world. Especially, in the cobody creation process which now we are experiencing in the Subbody School. It is so similar to the dreaming up process which Arnold Mindel found. 
Our subbody dreams that "All other students should join in my own world as I wish." In the modern choreography process by a special excellent choreographer, she or he can use dancers as his/her thing.
But in the cobody resonance process, we need special conditioning which we guide the others subbody-cobody into the best resonance with each own specific world. We cannot jump this necessary process.
Otherwise, the dreaming up process occurs which Arnold Mindell found.

 

<Dissonance of subbody>
Subbody was hidden in the darkness of the body for a long time from our baby or child ages. Subbody doesn't know the appropriate resonance way at all at the beginning. We have to be midwife and mother for our subbody. At first, we accept every tendency. It is the first principle of midwifing, "Affirm everything of Life". And we grow up as a subbody and midwife at the same time to learn various resonance ways and to be able to find out the best resonance pattern with everything.

<Baby Ego> 
Subbody was hidden when our ego is not completed. Then subbody has small unmetered Ego like a child or baby. We need to take care of it. Not to express the small ego. Ego has a strong tendency to dominate. If the others or the world does not follow as what small Ego wishes, the baby ego starts crying like a baby, " I want milk! if you don't give me milk, I will continue to cry until the world destroyed." It is baby ego's violence. We need to grow up our subbody's from the original dissonance pattern to learning various resonance pattern. The subbody school is the place to learn them.

<Denial character> 
Some of subbody has a strong tendency of denial.
Maybe this subbody has deep dissonance experience with the mother of the world.
It might grow up till denial personality during adolescence or adult age depending each life history.
When we feel the denial tendency in our darkness of body, we have to see the 'wherefroms' transparently. Ask him or her, "Where are you from? How did you grow up in my darkness of body?"
This is each original work, nobody can help it instead of you.

<Dominance of Ego>
During the growing process we learn the partnership and how to express Ego. Ego's original tendency is the Dominance, but Ego has to learn how to express the dominance in the proper timing and how can we control the others. Investigate your own process of the development of your Ego. It is so deep and rich mine. Because the first denial tendency might start at the beginning of Life. It must be just one stepping back against dissonant qualia. We need to research this infinite process of developing history of Ego from the first subtle denial tendency of Life to our strong Ego archetype.
So, Ego is the strongest archetype which all modern human being share deeply, and the biggest thing to be found how to solve it.

<Complex phenomena in the human relationship channel>
The above phenomenon does not necessarily happen on an individual basis. 
changing, in our cobody creation process, it developed in the human relationship channel and world-self channel.
It becomes so complicated phenomena as the following sections.
This is the first time which we all experience those complex dissonance pattern. We need to see the whole unknown process carefully. Because we don't know what would happen at the next moment. This is the richest process for all of us, to learn so complex resonance patterns including dissonance and dominance, though it is extremely hard. 

<Unknown emotional attack>
When we meet novel qualia, sometimes it gives us new hint of creation, but also we are often attacked by unknown unpleasant emotion. We call it edge qualia. It occurs between the first process which we know well as the daily conscious personality, and the second process which is subbody and cobody tendencies. Our daily body did not notice about it, then it feels as if unknown something invades us.
In the deeper realm of the darkness of body, it happens not only inside of personality but beyond personality, it happens in the human relationship channel as the following; 

<Transference and counter transference>
Past memories of dissonance with something come up in the present relationship. It happens both sides. We experience most uncomfortable feeling each other. This is one of hard process of cobody sharing.

<Projection>
When we meet uncomfortable edge qualia, always we feel it in other people. This is Ego's nature, " I'm not wrong, I'm OK, you are wrong."
The ego always does self-justification with making an instant story which justifies oneself. When we feel something wrong in other people. At first we have to inhibit to express it immediately. And see it transparently. In a few days, we can notice that we projected our inner bad qualia to the others.
These phenomena happen every day at every moment. 
Then my shiatsu teacher Ryokyu Endo taught us.
"See ego, hold ego, and melt ego 18 times per second."

<The Birth Trauma>
The deepest memories when we were born, the horrible experience between death and life we had, but we have forgotten all of them by the inner morphine; endorphins and so on.
But the inner qualia are reserved in our glial cells in the brain and body cells, and suddenly the worst memories came up and attack us.
We feel it as if the world tried to kill me. 
The moment our deepest archetype resonate together and we feel it as if the level spirit or demon of the world attack us.
This is the birth trauma. I learned it from Grof.

<Flash back>
When we encounter a similar experience with our trauma (We often dissociate it and forget it), from the depth of darkness of body, the same qualia come up by resonance. The process is so quick and bonds us immediately. This phenomenon is the so-called "Flashback".
Especially, when we sink down into the Abyss, it is able to meet so many hidden memories. It gives us so rich creation. But at the same time, unexpected flashback may happen. This includes both the process of psychological and physical, as the following two sections.

<State dependent hormone & neurotransmitter>
Our body-mind is changing the state at each moment by both psychological and somatic condition.
Various kinds of hormone and neurotransmitter are changing our mind/body state.
For example when we feel danger or fear regardless of the inside and outside, our body shifts from parasympathetic mode to sympathetic mode instantly.
The adrenaline(epinephrine) hormone spreads the body and changes our body/mind to adrenaline mode immediately.
Not only adrenaline, all hormone, and neurotransmitter are connected to each specific state of mind/body.
Scientists call it <State Dependent Mood, Memory & Learning>.
It controls our mind and behavior pattern. They are always resonating among invisible qualia and physical cell condition. 

<IEG: Immediate early gene expression> 
Genetic research in recent years, scientists found IEG (immediate early gene expression).
When our body/mind becomes a specific model by the state-dependent hormone and neurotransmitter, the IEGs in the cell expresses and change the state of the body in cell level physically.
For example, if we enter the very cold place one of IEG starts expression immediately and product a specific cold adaptive protein.
When our body/mind becomes adrenaline mode, also a specific IEG expresses and product special protein for fighting or flighting in our cells.
So the state-dependent hormone and neurotransmitter can change our physical body state immediately in the cell level.
This is the reason when we are bound by anger, it is so difficult to change it by conscious effort.
We need to see the whole phenomena transparently and we can shift it by finding the most appropriate conditioning method for the specific state. Conditioning includes both the process of mental and physical.
I learned above two sections from Rossi.

<What is the evil spirit and neurosis?>
Ancient people understand these terrible phenomena above as the work of evil spirit. Modern people understand it as neurosis or mental disease. But both of them are the common illusion in different ages. 
But, now we can release from those archetype of both age; modern and ancient. Both of them is the phenomena of Life resonance.
When all of phenomena of dissonance happen together at the same time, we cannot control it.
Then ancient people understand that it is the work of unknown evil spirit, modern people regard it as the neurosis and go to the hospital without trying to solve it by oneself.
Now we can try to see all phenomena transparently as the variations of Life resonance. We need to overcome all archetypes which bind us in the darkness of body, even though it is extremely hard.

<What is the possession>
Ancient animistic people imagined various archetype and possession by them. It is the ancient way to understand so strange phenomena of human's mind/body.
Now we can see transparently every phenomenon as the variation pattern of resonance of qualia which Life resonates without any illustrious being.
The phenomena of the possession is also a special resonance pattern of qualia of Life. When it increases the density of resonance the possession happens. At that moment, also not only psychological process, also the somatic process of above; state-dependent mood, memory, learning, and immediate early gene expression changes the physical body condition, muscle tension, rough breathing, face, eyes are physical changes like animal or evil spirit.
But now we can affirm and accept all phenomena as the variation of Life resonance.
Just we need to be careful not to be bound by the archetypes by opening transparent sense.

<Open the sense of Transparency> 
At first, we need to find the most appropriate way of conditioning to calm down.
Try to start from breathing, vibrating or swaying.
These basic conditioning methods are still effective in the Abyss, too.
Quietly accept the wonders of Life, including hard emotional attack, possession by various Archetypes. 
See everything transparently with asking Life,
"What resonance or dissonance is happening in each cell, part of body and whole being?"
"What behind world and the inner qualia of cell, brain, mind, body are resonating?"
"Where are you from in the long history of Life?"
And have asleep.
During the sleeping, our subbody works for twenty-four hours, and find the solution for today.
Don't force your brain to think about it.
Just to sleep is the best thing what we can do in this hard state.
Believe your Life and subbody, they are more transparent than our thinking.
Sleep well, and accept the awareness in the moment of awaking next morning as a gift from Life.